"Jared, uh, you wanted me to unite the teams and I have. They are united against me."

"Oh, it's okay, I got my phone."

"Guys, it can't be that big of a deal, right?"

"Okay then. Great. I won't tell you anything because nothing happened."

"Well, every time I try to do the right thing, I get fucked. And if I do the right thing here, we're done. That's it. Doesn't seem like much of an option, does it?"

"Not that it matters. I mean, it's all gonna be property of Gavin Belson in an hour, so."

"When's your dad coming to pick you up?"

"You know, all the guys at the house, they think I'm nuts, but I'm not nuts."

"Money just perverts everything."

"Then, that's when my fight-or-flight reflex kicked in."

"What a day. See, we'd still be finishing up orientation, singing Kumbayas and doing trust falls. But instead, both our Optimoji and Sliceline teams have gone through their first code review."

"Despite all our differences, we all have one thing in common, right? A signed agreement with me to build and launch your websites, not on the tired, bloated, old web, but on the new Internet of the future. The Pipernet. Which is why, from this day forward, I'm going to be naming the eight of you the OctoPipers. Until something better... TBD."

"Of the closet?"

"No, my lawyer is in jail, so."

"Okay. Um All right, Dinesh, um..."

"So when you were referring to the person who bought Pied Piper as a contemptible asshole, you were talking about Erlich?"

"I was gonna sleep last night, but, uh... I thought I had this solve for this computational trust issue I've been working on, but it turns out, I didn't have a solve. But it was too late. I had already drank the whole pot of coffee."

"That's not really how it works, Gilfoyle. You can't just go get a client."

"What, like Julia Roberts from "My Best Friend's Wedding"?"

"It's weird. I actually don't know what to do when things are going well. It is not natural."

"I'm pretty sure you did, actually. You texted it to me last night, see?"

"And then you also said, "We don't have to smell it. We just have to sell it. As long as those fat fat fatties...""

"What else happens?"

"Yeah. Uh, I know that now, but at the time, I couldn't remember."

"Wait, are you still riffing?"

"What the fuck?"

"Okay, technically, you're a dating site, but specifically, a gay one. Which is a subset, so I'm not wrong."

"You know, you could be a a twink. A bear, an otter. A circuit queen, a chub, a pup. A gipster, a daddy chaser, a leatherman, a lady boy. You could be a Donald Duck, which is a gay guy who got kicked out of the Navy."

"Is it? I mean, our our platform does exactly what we say it does. Okay? It's not like we're lying about it like fucking Theranos. And if our platform works, which we know it will, we will make them billions of dollars. Everybody wins, Jared. You still believe that, right? That, if given enough time, the platform will catch on?"

"Your faith made all this possible."

"Wait, sorry, did did you just say "Bachmanity"? As in Erlich Bachman and Nelson Bighetti?"

"No, you don't. I mean, you literally said, "If a bunch of dumb Marines wanna cheat on their dumb wives, what the f*ck do I care?""

"Jane Goodall studied chimpanzees."

"I watched that video."

"What's... what's going on?"

"Look, taking existing companies and just calling them "new" isn't sophisticated. That's theft."

"The uptick?"

"I don't know. I was just smiling."

"Got a lot of work to do. I'll be in the pool. Not crazy."

"W-Well, did you hack into it or not?"

"Okay. Well, that's a gain of $200 million over 20 years. Um, 16.66 repeating. Uh, that's less than 1% return. Inflation is, like, 1.7. I think CDs are 2%. So that's less than a CD."

"I-I-I I didn't mean it."

"I'll try it again. There's a new one. There. "Hi there"."

"So everybody is very psyched."

"Oh, shit."

"Well, you're stealing it all wrong. I mean, this is how you're gonna build the code book? Honestly? This is bush-league. And look at all these redundancies."

"You're not worried about the lawsuit?"

"We are in the seat of the US government, a government that was founded by people who were, at one point, ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow. So, what did they do, right? They started over. They came here, to the New World. World 2.0, version 1776. And the way we win is by creating a new, democratic, decentralized Internet, one where the behavior of companies like this will be impossible, forever. One where it is the users, not the kings, who have sovereign control over their data. This, I promise to you: I will help you end this tyranny by building an Internet that is of the people, by the people, and for the people, so help me God."

"I think that we if we had a woman at the helm, it might change the optics, and since you don't really care..."

"Jared, when were you planning on telling me all of this?"

"What?"

"I wanted you guys to meet, because despite being a very diverse and talented group of young web developers. Gitscape, huh? Social coding platform. Tholio, analytics firm. Plucky, music streaming. FirstSight, dating site."

"So right now, I will send to you all the very first message ever to be sent on a de-centralized, peer-to-peer Internet. Ready?"

"I meant to say "Hi there"."

"Well, we thought the best way to introduce the Pipernet would be through the eight developers that have already signed on. Who we are calling the OctoPipers."

"Say what?"

"Cool man, thanks. Hey, I thought he wasn't supposed to chime in."

"I worked with a guy."

"Who are we to judge, right? There's some people out there that believe that we're living in a computer simulation."

"Richard, Hello, I went to China to do new new Internet. Thank you. Enjoy your house. I love you. Jian-Yang."

"Yeah."

"What? What what does that mean?"

"Okay."

"Oh. No."

"Why would you assume that he's the CEO?"

"Gilfoyle, please don't tell me that you hacked into EndFrame's system."