"You remember the end of Thelma and Louise? How they drove that car off the cliff? Why? That was a mint '66 T-Bird. They didn't need that car to get over the cliff. Why'd that car have to die?"

"Which is why I wanna do your panel with Susan Wojcicki from YouTube."

"There's a computer in the library that's not supervised on Sundays. I think if I can pull library duty, I'll be able to sneak on and track down whoever ratted me out. I am going to destroy that m@therfucker. Not if I destroy him first. Excuse me. What's your policy on anonymous tips?"