"Danny: Could you at least stop tweeting about it? "Anyone who signs this Tethics thing is a thumbass"? That doesn't even make sense. Richard: Yes, it does. It's dumb-ass but with thumb. Thumbass. It's basically perfect."

"He's definitely gonna fuck her later, and she's not gonna think of you while it's happening."

"You know, Jian-Yang, the silence in the car gave me some time to think about the fact that our differences... Jesus! Sorry. Jian-Yang!"

"I was going to take you to see BattleBots Live with me, but no longer friend. Now who looks stupid?"

"I'm gonna make things easy for you, Richard. I'm out."

"Oh, yeah, 'cause "Nelson"."

"That's preposterous."

"I thought I'd have to, like, answer to Congress or something. Yeah, that makes sense. You were worried sick about the wrath of a bloated and inept bureaucracy, but feel totally comfortable having crossed a spiteful and vindictive megalomaniac with unlimited funds. Shut up. Gavin wouldn't come after me personally. I think you might be the first Pakistani man to be killed by a drone inside the United States."

"Says here that she's looking for a man on the go. You don't "go" anywhere."

"At least the actual Judas had the courtesy to kill himself after betraying his leader, Jesus Christ. He's the CEO of the world. Ever heard of him? Got it. Went to Catholic school. Really? How long?"

"Richard, I'm not asking you to spoon with the guy or even fork him. What I'm asking for... What is that? Forking is when you use your dick and your two legs to stab him in the lower torso."

"Every day here has been like that shopping-spree scene. I'm putting on hats."