"Richard: What is this? Russ: It's the trailer for my festival, RussFest. Three days of partying, sucking, and f*cking on a plot of land so far out even Nevada barely wants it."

"Since leaving Hooli, I've co-authored 37 adult romance novels. Fondly, Margeaux. The Lighthouse Dancer. Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses. Over here, The Prince of Puget Sound. Uh, and lastly, His Hazel Glance. All international best sellers."

"Okay, is this a good thing or a bad thing? Someone tell me how to feel. \nAbject terror for you. Build from there."

"Is this Windows Vista bad? It's not iPhone 4 bad, is it? Fuck. Don't tell me this is Zune bad."

"You Judas. You cow-handed poltroon! We... we thought you were a Stallion!"

"Well, Gavin speaks in parables."

"You don't speak for Gavin."

"It's my Mona Lisa. And the entire cornerstone upon which I built this m@therfucking cathedral that I will forever be remembered for, was this beautiful little uptick. I think I have a bottle of Cold Duck in the crisper. Who's drinking? Come on! I got a bottle of Martinelli's for you, Jared."