"Errich Bachman is cremated... into ashes... and I put it in bucket."

"The fucking balls on this egomaniac. You know what? Fuck Banksy."

"He was in the Serengeti on safari and he had just gone into his tent when a hippo wandered into the camp. No, I guess the hippo started to charge when the guide grabbed his rifle and shot at it, but his aim was off, and... No, he he missed, but I guess the sound of the gun startled Peter, who ran out of his tent and... No, the hippo was also startled by the noise and had run off prior to Peter exiting his tent. He hadn't run in a long time, maybe ever, and you know, he just... that was it."

"You know who else is psyched? I'll give you a hint. They have four thumbs, and they are these two guys."

"Well, Gavin speaks in parables."

"Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! Alway - Aah!"

""Forbes" has taken me off their billionaire's list. Instead, they'll probably put me on their close-but-no-cigar list, which is ironic because I smoke a fuck ton of cigars. Why the fuck do I buy so many cigars? I remember the second I became a billionaire. I was ass-naked sitting right there, just clicking and refreshing, clicking and refreshing, watching my stock rise. And when it happened, I popped a rod so fast, I went blind for a full minute. Nutted all over those cushions."

"Did I just hit a deer? No, goddamn it! Fucking Stanford Robotics."

"(Referring to Jared) I'm just gonna say it. This guy fucks. Am I right? 'Cause I'm looking at the rest of you guys, and this is the guy in the house doing all the fucking. Am I right? You know I'm right. This guy fucks."