"Richard: What is this? Russ: It's the trailer for my festival, RussFest. Three days of partying, sucking, and f*cking on a plot of land so far out even Nevada barely wants it."

"Yeah. What are we doing, exactly?"

"What did you do to that guy?"

"Jared, uh, you wanted me to unite the teams and I have. They are united against me."

"Opportunities... urinate on Blaine's grave? Grief threesome with Gina and Blaine's hot mom, question mark? What the fuck?!"

"I'll try it again. There's a new one. There. "Hi there"."

"Cool man, thanks. Hey, I thought he wasn't supposed to chime in."

"I'm drawing thoughtful, zoological comparisons."

"Did I just hit a deer? No, goddamn it! Fucking Stanford Robotics."

"They killed the Bam-bot. Fuck your Bam-bot!"

"I just spent the last 16 hours cherry-picking Friars Roasts for the premium old-man jokes. Essentially, I'm going to beat him to death with his own titanium hips. Not just for me, but for Richard."

"Anyway, next thing you know, we IPO, stock triples in a day and AOL gobbles us up. All of a sudden, I'm 22 years young and I'm worth 1.2 billion. Now a couple decades later, I'm worth 1.4. You do the math."